who am I trying to fool

So I've been watching this show lately.
I should start over.
I am a sucker for a good romance. Not just any romance, but a GOOD romance. All those romantic comedies just don't cut it for me, and even most of the dramas. But put on Pride and Prejudice and I am all about that.
So back to this show, it's about a small southern town and a girl who moves there from the big city and tries to fit in. I am a sucker for cowboys too... gosh okay! Now you know my secrets.
(my husband is not a cowboy, because we are from Alaska, but I love him anyway. Shhh.)
I don't think I have ever been SO addicted to a show. This one has me completely entranced. I think about it when I am not watching, I can watch like 5 shows in a row and not even think twice about it, and when I am done watching, I will have a southern accent.
Seriously.
How do the writers of these shows KNOW?! They just know how to trap me! The first time I saw the show I noticed it had been given 5 stars so I tried it out and didn't get 10 minutes in before I had to shut it off. It was going to be dorky, I could just tell. But then I kept seeing it. It kept having 5 stars. I had no shows left on my little netflix list and I was tired of surfing gosh darn it! So I tried again.
Bam! still dorky, but I was going to push through. Sometimes shows get better, right? or do I just sink into the level they are at?
Anyway, I do this. I watch a movie and I tell you, I AM that character. I could talk like her, act like her, I want to BE her. It's not purposeful and eventually (in approximately 5 minutes) it wears off. But seriously, how does that happen?!
I know one thing. It makes me feel discontent with my life. With what I have and who I am. I know it and still I watch. Still I feel connected to the characters. Still it enters in through my eyes and ears and into my brain and exudes out of me in my words and actions. I LET it.
Holy cow. My discontent with myself is so easy to rise out of me. I feel like I should KNOW better! I do. I want my life, where I am RIGHT NOW, to be my most peaceful place.
I have to FIGHT! Fight for the right! to be content. To be me in my truest most loving form.
I am reminded to do what God says in his word "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6
So, be thankful. Pray. Lean into God. Listen to His small voice.
Should I quite watching shows that are romantic? Psssh! ha! God hasn't taken me down THAT road yet! I don't like smut, but I like a good story. So does Jesus I suppose. Since after all, He is our romance. I think though, that I need to watch these shows with the foundation of Christ in my mind, body, and spirit. If I know Him, I know ours is the most romantic story around. There is nothing better than what I have and who he has made me to be.
Yes Jesus. I love you. Thank you.

And of course, maybe I should limit my show watching to just, ah, er, one (or two) at a time... we'll see.

okay fine. three.