oh jiminy...

crickets.

That's what you hear around this blog space. I have not been writing for a couple of weeks and the time has just flown by me!

Let see, what have I been doing?

Good question...

I know I have been thinking about and researching a TON of new things for our family. I am still working on better ways to be a thrifty, yet healthy shopper and chef. I have been working on learning how to cook more wholesome meals, trying to use more vegetables, legumes and less meat. It is hardest on my husband I think. He is not used to the lack of usual snack food around the house, a lot less bread, and many more beans. He'll get into the routine soon and I'll get better at knowing what he likes. I hope.

I have also been working at getting most all the cleaning chemicals out of the house. It is hard for me to just throw these things out. I am by nature a (wanna be) thrifty person, and throwing out perfectly good cleaning supplies is hard for me to do. But then, I think about how if my now crawling nine month old baby got into any of it, or if my two year old boy who climbs on everything and can open anything were to find these things, it would be a terrible day. I already won't let them into the room where I spray fabreeze on the carpet until it is dry. I guess that is a hint I need to change something.  So, I have started cleaning with vinegar, baking soda, hot water, sometimes some essential oil and a reusable cloth. I have found, I actually like cleaning with just those simple products....

Talk about cheap. Talk about easy. Talk about healthy.

My third and most recent project has been researching the world of cloth diapering.
Do I sound like a greenie or what?!
I swear, I have been doing all this because our budget dictates it. But the more I look into all these budget friendly ways of living, I find that mostly they are much more healthy options as well! I love that. I love feeling like I know what is happening to my family, what is going into their mouths, what is being put on their skin, and what is being used to clean them. I worry less, I feel better, I stress less and hopefully, my family feels it too.

Anyway, back to cloth diapers. Holy COW. There are more options for cloth diapers than for disposable ones and let me tell you, I know there are a lot of disposable diaper options. I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to figure out.  What I wanna know is, because this cloth diapering thing is such a big, upfront investment, how do I know what diapers are going to "work" for my child? I don't want to just buy ones that look good, or that I think will work. I want them to work dagnabit, if I am going to pay $200 or more for enough diapers and their accessories to get us through this.

I am convinced that this is something I want to pursue, I just have no idea where to start and how to make this a project I don't have to save for the next year to start on. Blah.

Other than those aforementioned projects, I have been wrangling children, loving my husband, trying to push deeper into my relationship with God, and visiting my sweet sweet friends.

I love this life.

frugalnomics

I don't know when this band wagon took off, but I am pretty certain I missed it completely. I am talking about the frugal, natural, housewife band wagon.

It kinda sucks to feel like I have been so far off the mark for so long. I mean, am I just now starting to think about health? nutrition? budgets?

No.

But it has only been this past few months that it has been intensely occupying my thoughts as to how I can do better. So I began researching and finding TONS of stuff (mostly blogs) on these subjects! I am overwhelmed and boggled by all the information and feel the urgent need to begin a healthier lifestyle, but have no idea where to start.

What gets me the most though, is that I feel like I grew up in a moderately healthy home. I have always had good health and so have all my siblings. We are not overweight and have always known the importance of exercise. It is now that I have my own family though, that I realize how much I do not know about how to serve them in a way that not only fills their love tanks but fills their bodies with health and wellness. I left home barely knowing how to cook. I can't blame that on anyone but myself, but still, I am disappointed.

I have always looked at my parents with awe. How they held everything together in even the toughest times. My mom was and still is superwoman! How did I leave her care without knowing how to do any of the things she did? She raised and homeschooled four kids, fed us well on minimal money and most importantly brought us all up to know the Lord (while keeping her sanity and relationship with her husband intact). If there is anyone in this world I want to be like, it is her.

So far however, I am, as I said earlier, way off the mark. Both my sisters know how to be green and shop for the good deals and can cook amazingly well. I guess I just wasn't paying close enough attention. But now, I am.

I want to be healthy. Not just look it on the outside, but really to be healthy all the way through. I want it for my husband who is tired and works long hours with not a whole lot of good food options. I want it for my son and daughter so they can have long and healthy lives with the energy they need to do whatever it is they want to do. And I want to share it. I want my kids to know how choose it for themselves.

I am going to be starting this journey slow. I can't go ditch all the groceries I just bought yesterday to  spend another hundred on "more healthy" food. I must believe God holds me in every circumstance. He knows I have lots of work to do and I am certain he will be keeping us through this time of change even though we won't be eating natural, organic, meat free food all the time. I figured out how to cook, and I am learning how to shop and coupon, so now I am going to learn to be GREEN!

Feeling better already.

Meine Familie

Running to the rythm of Love...

Happy belated valentines day! I had a really nice day yesterday. My husband is one of the most thoughtful gift givers I know and he always knows what to do for me even when we have no money to use for the occasion.

He burned me two really fun CD's and they are great for running or rocking out to in the car. It is all love music of course. He also made the most delicious chocolate mousse for dessert. Sigh. This man knows how to treat me right.

I, on the other hand, am not a very thoughtful gift giver. I made beans for dinner (really yummy though) and didn't make him anything special! I had thought we made an agreement that we wouldn't do anything special for valentines day this year. We don't really have any expendable money and I didn't want to spend what little we do have on silly hearts and candy. But my dear husband worked something out anyway and I was happily surprised and felt very loved.

Next year I'll have to get more creative... I guess I can only get better seeing as how I didn't do anything this year.

That's right, you better watch out for me. Valentines 2013, here I come! 



(any ideas??)

This is what I found when I opened the fridge to make breakfast.

Which lead me here. It was a sweet-awesome mix. We listened all morning and we all danced crazy like.

And this is the chocolate mousse my honey made so deliciously for our valentines evening.

A picture of Love

I have thought of probably 10 different subjects to write about over the weekend, but only one comes to mind.
I watched a documentary done by National Geographic called Life in a Day. It. Was. Awesome.

If you ever want to feel like you are only a wisp of a life on the planet, that what you are is a mere speck compared to everything happening to everyone else on the earth, that God is huge and is longing for us to be with him, that we are his bride and we are a wreck but he still holds us in his arms... watch that documentary.

I cried, I laughed and was amazed. It was all people. Crazy, normal people.

On another note, my family and I had a really nice time out at Harding Lake with the Young Life crew! I hung out with the girls and we all painted our nails, played games, went on a nice warm walk and generally enjoyed eachother's company. It is always sweet to have other people to play with.

It is good to be home, however. I came back with tremendously soar hips from an awful bed. Shoot. My own bed is so much nicer to me, and for that, I will love it and only say nice things about it from now on. 

Here is what my baby girl enjoyed doing at the lodge: staring at the ceiling...

Here is what my bubba enjoyed: tea and a movie. A child after my own heart.

TTFN!

Cabin Fever!

This weekend we get to go out to our cabin! It is always fun to go out. Not too much of a drive and a nice break from the normal routine. It is on a lake and can be really pretty this time of year, especially since it has been so warm.

These days though it is a bit of a chore to get going. When once upon a time it was just my husband and I who went out, we could decide the same day and jump in the car to go! It was so easy! Now we have to plan weeks in advance. Taking plenty of food, diapers, extra clothes, winter gear, gas for the snow machines or jet ski in the summer. It is only an hour drive away too! In the summer we go so often we have most of the extras stashed in the car already or we get extras to leave out there. But winter is a much harder time to go, mostly because of schedules, icy roads, and cold temps. This weekend however, we are going to force our way out and I know it will be so good once we are there.

We do not, however, have internet service at this cabin (unless you count dial-up...) and barely cell reception. You have to stand in just the right spot.

So, I will come home exhausted from the trip home and all the laundry to do once we get back, but it will be worth all the chores. It will be sweet time with family and friends.

(It sounds a bit like I am talking myself into it... maybe I am. shoot. I had better get back to work.)

Ahem...

The weathers so warm
I must get a new form
And squish into my new bikini

And that's a wrap.
(please excuse the lack of poetic talent.)
(or what I really mean is, sorry... :)

And this puppy has nothing to do with any of the aforementioned subjects. She is just mighty cute and I got the pleasure of naming her after me :) Sweet silly Rosie toes... (that's not my name, just the rosie part.)

oops

Oh my gosh, I didn't post yesterday!

Yesterday was a pretty jam packed day and I just never found the time to sit down and do even a little bit on the computer. But today, I am writing. I am even sacrificing reading time! Ack! I am on the last book of the Hunger Games and I am so eager to get to the end, if not only to know what happens, but for the sake of my poor neglected house.

I have had a lot on my mind lately, but yesterday all I could think about was how bad I am doing at keeping my new years resolution! I mean, I am working at it and all, but boy is it hard.

My resolution was to become a better shopper.  We have a strict budget and I really need to cut down on the grocery bill so we can put money towards other areas.  I have been doing a ton of research on couponing and shopping sales and such, and I think I have the basics down... in theory. But every time I go to the store I just cannot figure out how to put it into practice! I am a see it, do it, do it, do it, teach it kind of learner.  I can read about it til I am blue in the face, it will even make sense in my head, but once you put my hands to the test I am a fumbling mess! I have to DO things to learn them well and I get into that grocery store and I cannot make heads or tales of all the coupon mess or how to work it.  Especially when I am at the check out, I get all flustered and crazy! I leave the store sweating and feeling horrible I could not figure it out.  I know I need lessons from someone experienced. I need someone to walk me into the store and say, "see this sale? take advantage of it. See this item? it has a coupon, use it."

I know that makes me sound really dense, but sometimes, I can be.  I need to get into a rhythm and it is just not happening.  So, I will keep working at it and trying really hard, but I am also on the lookout for a teacher willing to go with me into the store, know my list, know my budget and HELP ME! I am getting so frustrated It is not worth it for me to keep this up too much longer and I will not have the energy to keep trying. I think it is harder here in Fairbanks. We don't have as many options, we don't have a lot of coupons, and we don't live really close to everything. Or maybe anything... And when it hits those cold temps, it gets really difficult to get everyone bundled up, start the car and go out... at all. Not just shopping, but anything. Shopping is the only thing that when it gets REALLY cold I make myself do, but I push it til we have to go or else there just won't be anything to make or scrounge or we are almost out of TP.

I am eliminating excuses though. I know other people do this in the Fairbanks area and are really successful, so I must be able to figure it out too!

My meals are planned, my lists are made, and budget, you will not bust me! I shall conquer!

On a side note, can I just tell you how adorable this girl is? Very. I love her sweet cheeks and thorough thighs. This baby child makes me swoon...

The end.

The Hunger Games

I have been reading the Hunger Games series and am on book two.  Over the course of two days I finished the first one, and now, it will be the same for the second.

This is Monday folks, but you would never know it in my house. It is all I can do to tear myself away from those books! My children cry, the house is a mess, the dishes go undone and food is for the birds. I must read.

That seems to be my problem when I find a good book. I just cannot for the life of me find anything else I would rather be doing than reading that particular story! It is a good thing I don't find these kind of consuming books all the time, or this family would be in trouble...

I was feeling a little guilty earlier today, so I folded the dreaded pile of laundry, did the dishes and even managed dinner! whew. I know, pathetic.

But I am almost finished and I will be back to my normal self in approximately two days. (Have to get through that last book you know!) Then maybe I can post some updates on my knitting or something else interesting.  or not.
We did get outside today and play, because the sun was shining so cheerfully and the temperature was 20 above and there was no excuse to not be out in that beauty!

All in all, the start to the week hasn't been much of one, but I am satisfied and perfectly entertained!

oh, tired.

The days are getting warmer, but my mind and body are still in the depth of winter. I find I am having to convince myself that I should do one more thing, just have one small goal for the day. If I can get that done, then maybe I will be able to do another. It's the getting going that is the toughest.

Today has been a lazy day. I did get the kids their bath, and made food for everyone to eat, so I am feeling okay about that...
There is just so much more that needs doing, and I am feeling a little pushed over by it all. It is Sunday after all. Isn't it the day of rest? Especially this Superbowl Sunday! We don't really do football around here at our house though. I don't have much excuse. Weekends tend to be the days we try and catch up from everything that piled up throughout the week.

Lame.

It is wonderful to have my husband all weekend though. To have his help when I get the kids out of the bath and they pee on the floor and then sit and play in it while I turn my back for the 2 seconds it takes to get diapers and clothes.

He rescues me. He rescues the kids really. From all my ugly wrath.

Now they sleep and I will try and clean up my attitude and hopefully find something relaxing to do. Because just thinking about all that hard work has made me really tired... sigh.

I'll do it tomorrow.

knit knit knit

Well folks, the excitement over learning to knit has abated.

It didn't take long... Don't get me wrong, I am not giving up. But the progress is slow.
I took to crochet in no time and it was so satisfying I just ran with it. But knitting has not proved to be so natural for me, and no thanks to the kids who keep interrupting me with all their valid excuses and such... who needs food anyway? Not when something as exciting as learning to knit is taking place!
And diapers? psh.

I have had to "frog" my so called scarf project 3 times. argy bargy.
This is as far as I have gotten: 

 It is only the knit stitch and quite imperfect still, but I am hoping I have it down enough that I won't (crossing fingers) have to take it out again. I have a long way to go though. Knitting takes me 20 times longer than crochet, so this will be a multi day process for this durnd scarf.

On another note, we had an almost 2 hr power outage the other night and here is what we did...
Sit in the dark feeding children,

 

 (Notice the candle and headlamp. My version of being prepared...)

And let them play on the only thing left that had battery power: the ipad.

 It felt really odd to not know what to do without all of our electronics! Sad really. Trying to stay entertained in the dark, 20 below outside, with a toddler and a baby is challenging. It made me think of all the people that go through major storms and have no power for DAYS! That would make life more than hard. Our water is from a well run off electricity, all our appliances are electric, our heater is electric etc. We would be in some deep poo if we lost electricity for days with no generator during the winter.
I guess these small events are good for knowing in what ways we are not prepared for a big problem and how we need to get with the safety program!
Now I know.
Especially with two small kids. Being prepared is essential.
But now we are working and playing in the light and I will do what I can to remind myself not to take it for granted.
 

My favorite parts of today

It snowed big, fat, fluffy snowflakes. And it was beautiful.

I went to an awesome one year old birthday party!  

I got to go run errands... by myself.

I got to go not only to the Library, but also to Barns and Noble and actually browse.

I got a knitting book.

I got to go to Joanns!

I bought knitting needles.

I got to come back to my babies who were happy to see me :)

My mother in law fed us dinner... it's always a treat.

I am now going to learn how to KNIT! YEAH!

This is really exciting. It's been a long time coming and I can't wait to start making those beautiful hats and mittens they show in the pictures.  So, here goes.

And a picture or two for good measure:
This is us at a plane crash that occurred a few years ago out in Nikolai Alaska. Everyone walked away safely, but my sister (in the bottom picture) thought it would be great to pretend she didn't get so lucky... she can be a little dramatic. I love you Emily :)

 

Heat Wave!

It is 20 degrees ABOVE zero outside! I am so incredibly happy about this turn in weather! I feel relaxed, warm, and as though life and Hope have returned!

We have been outside twice already and when the kids wake up from their nap, we are going out again. Everything is running smoother today, from the car to the kids' and my attitudes. I am not bundled up on the couch in blankets, sweaters and slippers but actually am comfortable without all that. Like a normal person! It feels so good to be a normal person... sigh.

Now that it is February, I can actually feel spring around the corner. It may be one of those corners that just keeps turning for a while, but eventually we will get there. At least we have started into the corner rather than this straight stretch of endless cold we've been having.
In reality, spring doesn't show up here in Fairbanks until late April or early May. I just need to keep telling myself that it really isn't that far away and summer is just around this longish bend.

Hope! In 20 above! And Sunshine! It's infectious.

everyday

I think I am discovering something about myself...

Side note: Those moments always seem to be a double edged sword. Now I know how I operate, so either I stick within the bounds of my new found knowledge, OR, when I fall outside those bounds of smoother operation, I feel like a failure. I know I messed up because I know how I could have been better.

It must always be better to know myself more, but dang, when I wanna be lazy, I sure do reap the consequences!

So back to what I have found out about myself.
I am an all or nothing kind of person.  Not in everything, but most things.
If I am going to exercise, I had better do it everyday. If I skip a day, usually no big deal. But when the next "skip-a-day" comes and the day right after that is a "skip-a-day" too, It is SO much easier to fall into that "I am only going to skip today" routine. Before you know it, the whole week went by I haven't lifted a toe to exercise.

I am the same with chores, eating healthy, cooking, getting dressed in the morning... blah blah blah.
There is no such thing as starting slow with me or I just won't do it!

I have made myself come back to this blog everyday (even though no one reads it) and write everyday, because I know that if I let myself "skip-a-day" then I will skip 2, then probably 4, and so on til you never see me here again.

I couldn't come back anyway, for all the shame I would feel at two failed attempts at blogging!! (That looks like a pretty deep hole I just dug)
Maybe that is why I have not done any advertising for my blog. Like, really, none. I have not told family, friends or anyone besides my husband. I didn't even want to tell him! I felt slightly awkward telling him I was "Blogging" in the first place. It sounds so... with it. or something.

I highly dislike the feeling of failure, or not being competent, or knowing what I am doing, or laziness, or anything else that comes with not finishing what you started.
It is scary to let people know that I might actually not be really good at something I do (even though they have probably figured it out already.). So even though this blog is public, I have not been public about it. Maybe I need to change that.
My heart is beating faster just thinking about it...

This is my contemplative picture. I don't look very contemplative. I'll have to find a different one next time. But my cool friend took it and I think it is pretty awesome. She is an awesome photographer.

photo by Krista Heeringa, Sub Zero Potography