I am trying to write about a life of peace, but there are a million noises in the house right now that make me want to scream. People touching me, talking to me endlessly, whining, crying, yelling, laughing....
I can hardly get enough peace to think, let alone write.
Especially about life.
Never the less, life is made up of these moments. Frustrating ones and unexpected ones. I have a propensity to seek the peaceful more than any other type of moment. That is what seems to be the most sanity saving for me. Peace. I like quiet, restful, predictable moments. It is something that sets me apart from a lot of my friends who are a lot more at peace with messy things, loud things, things that let their kids have way more freedom of time and creativity. I think I am considered a structured mom. I like schedules, I like everything in it's place. I don't like stuff, I like the world around me to make sense and to be quiet!
That's not too much to ask, right?!
I have felt pressure over the 5 short years of my parenting to have and to do things a certain way. I mean, we all feel it. If you are not doing crafty things, you should be. If you are not cleaning everyday, you should be. If you are not breastfeeding, co-sleeping, vaccine giving, baby wearing, exercising, homeschooling, experience getting, YOU SHOULD BE! You could "should be" yourself into the ground.
I know I have reached those places of feeling "in the ground" and I am a mean mommy in those places. I am not a loving wife and I can say one thing for certain, I DON'T have peace. I am tired, frustrated, and feel "less than" most of the time.
My heart wrestles with all the things I should be improving on or could do better and how I am falling so far short of those places.
I have come to this conclusion though (finally), that I must follow the peace. And although it is much easier to say than do, it works. It makes me a person so different than I thought I should be, but I have so much more peace. I don't have to craft all the time. I don't have to have a clean house all the time. When I shut off the outside noises of people telling me "you should be", peace follows. I don't have to do the things everyone else thinks I should be doing, or even feel the pressure of them! I can just let it roll off my back. It's so much more fun to be the person I was intended to be rather than the person I always though everyone else thought I should be.
I can definitely appreciate other perspectives and reasons for doing what they do, but I don't have to do it. And I don't have to feel like I SHOULD be doing it.
You know, there is more to it than just my own perceptions of what brings me peace though. It is not just about following MY peace, but seeking God's. What does God say I should do? What is His perspective? And that is when the real peace sets in. When I am walking in the middle of His purpose. The way He made me. Being the cog that fits into the space I was made for. That not only brings peace, but such Joy.
Thank you Lord.
Now, to just walk in it. That will be my ambition.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Sunday, February 22, 2015
kid love
There isn't a moment to spare. I am trying to sit down for a minute and I just cannot. The moment the kids wake up, actually a lot of moments before they wake up, I am on the go. I know it's a busy life to have three kids. Any kids really. But this weekend my husband is out of town. He has been gone for two days and this morning, and I feel like he has been gone for weeks! I even had one night with just the baby and I, and while it was very quiet, it was not the relaxing experience I always dream of. I still had to take care of the house, the dog, the baby. Once the other two came back from their night at Mamaw and Papaw's, the night and now morning have been a non-stop stream of moments to take care of "things". Get all the chores done, both my normal ones and Paul's. Clean up any kids' pee beds if I didn't already last night. Make breakfast, change diapers, let out the dog, make sure dog doesn't run away, wipe butts, wash hands, get dressed, oops... it looks like one has pink eye! Runny noses, Wash hands A MILLION TIMES! Poop?! AGAIN?! Wash the sheets. Mountains of laundry. Laundry being thrown on the floor. The dog laying on the laundry on the floor. Kids saying, "mom, watch me. Mom, wipe me. Mom, so n so is bugging me. Mom, I'm hungry. Mom, I don't feel good. Mom, read to me. Mom, help me. Mom mom mom mom mom.
I don't know this mom person.
And yet, these kids are SO CUTE!
I don't understand this strain between keeping them away from me and wanting to just eat them up I love them so!
I am confused, tired, irritated, and such a sucker for their cute faces and butts and fingers and even when they rip EVERYTHING and eat toilet paper... OUT OF THE TOILET! I still find myself in love.
It's a strange thing.
Ok, one just puked.
Better keep going.
Better keep loving.
Thank you Lord for my full house.
I don't know this mom person.
And yet, these kids are SO CUTE!
I don't understand this strain between keeping them away from me and wanting to just eat them up I love them so!
I am confused, tired, irritated, and such a sucker for their cute faces and butts and fingers and even when they rip EVERYTHING and eat toilet paper... OUT OF THE TOILET! I still find myself in love.
It's a strange thing.
Ok, one just puked.
Better keep going.
Better keep loving.
Thank you Lord for my full house.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
To Change
I have been struggling with my thoughts lately. They are so difficult to reign in. We are supposed to find freedom in what Christ has done for us and yet there is still so much work to be done on ourselves. So much transformation. Really it's just so much "letting go". It's hard work letting go. Letting Jesus take over my mind and life... I wish there wasn't so much of ME in the way. I know I cling to things I shouldn't. Thoughts about life, people, situations, what is right vs wrong, what someone else does vs what I do. I am a comparison freak. I compare until I am down right depressed. I value too much what other people think. Why can't I get RID of this thinking??!! It is the driver behind how I parent, what kind of wife I am, what food I will cook, what my house looks like, how I spend my money.
My contentment.
My Joy.
Why would I let what other people think, be the dictator of MY JOY?! There is absolutely no reason for it. But I slip into it so. dadgum. easy. I let other people's thoughtless words drive me to anger, bitterness, frustration and it affects not just me, but everyone around me.
I was in the bathroom with my 3 year old the other day helping her wash her hands and my thoughts were so far from the present situation. Instead of being present with my little girl, instructing her and loving her with my words and actions, I was thinking of all the things everyone else was accomplishing in their lives and I was not... I let out a huge sigh. My little girl noticed and said, "Mom, why are you sad?" I said, in an attempt at blowing it off, "I'm not sad, I must just be tired or something." And then it struck me that my 3 year old notices I am not content. She sees it on my face, hears it in my sigh, and asks what's wrong.
I thought I was holding it in pretty good! Putting on my "brave face" and all that.
My child saw right through it. I must have been doing a pretty weak job.
I want to be a beggar at the feet of Jesus. I beg for His spirit to lead me. To take my thoughts into captivity. To remind me every. waking. moment. who I am and what He has done. I want TO LIVE IN HIS RIVER OF LIFE!
And yet, I am found so often on the shore, barely touching my toes to the water. I find the thoughts of worthlessness creeping up on me and suddenly I am overwhelmed by them! How can this be?! Is the fight never over? ....
It's a good thing God has grace.
It's a good thing He is Love, and I can never wear it out.
It's a good thing He has paid the price, even while I am still a sinner.
It's a good thing He sees me and has made every provision for me to come to Him. To see His face, to feel His goodness, to hear His words, to know that despite all of me, He IS.
He is worth living this life for.
He is worth fighting this fight for.
He is the God who made me. Knowing me in and out. Knowing I would struggle with thoughts of worthlessness, judgment, and discontentment.
He is greater than my heart, and He knows everything.
He is my God, and I am so glad.
My contentment.
My Joy.
Why would I let what other people think, be the dictator of MY JOY?! There is absolutely no reason for it. But I slip into it so. dadgum. easy. I let other people's thoughtless words drive me to anger, bitterness, frustration and it affects not just me, but everyone around me.
I was in the bathroom with my 3 year old the other day helping her wash her hands and my thoughts were so far from the present situation. Instead of being present with my little girl, instructing her and loving her with my words and actions, I was thinking of all the things everyone else was accomplishing in their lives and I was not... I let out a huge sigh. My little girl noticed and said, "Mom, why are you sad?" I said, in an attempt at blowing it off, "I'm not sad, I must just be tired or something." And then it struck me that my 3 year old notices I am not content. She sees it on my face, hears it in my sigh, and asks what's wrong.
I thought I was holding it in pretty good! Putting on my "brave face" and all that.
My child saw right through it. I must have been doing a pretty weak job.
I want to be a beggar at the feet of Jesus. I beg for His spirit to lead me. To take my thoughts into captivity. To remind me every. waking. moment. who I am and what He has done. I want TO LIVE IN HIS RIVER OF LIFE!
And yet, I am found so often on the shore, barely touching my toes to the water. I find the thoughts of worthlessness creeping up on me and suddenly I am overwhelmed by them! How can this be?! Is the fight never over? ....
It's a good thing God has grace.
It's a good thing He is Love, and I can never wear it out.
It's a good thing He has paid the price, even while I am still a sinner.
It's a good thing He sees me and has made every provision for me to come to Him. To see His face, to feel His goodness, to hear His words, to know that despite all of me, He IS.
He is worth living this life for.
He is worth fighting this fight for.
He is the God who made me. Knowing me in and out. Knowing I would struggle with thoughts of worthlessness, judgment, and discontentment.
He is greater than my heart, and He knows everything.
He is my God, and I am so glad.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Pain
There has been a number of painful events happening around me. Not to me, but to friends. To people I know and to some I have never met, but "know" through social media.
I have cried over their pain. But when I think about them, I think how they have to hold this pain for their lifetime. I can leave it. They have to tread this deep ocean and try to breath. And it doesn't stop tomorrow. It doesn't stop next year. It will always be there.
Pain.
Such Deep Pain.
How can anyone hold it?
How can anyone stand up in another day while holding so much?
I think there must be some way to see on the outside what they are feeling on the inside.
How can our insides hold all this pain without it showing up on the outside in a physical experience?
I keep thinking of a tower of Lego's that falls to the ground in a million little pieces.
Melting into a puddle.
An explosion of the physical body.
I picture a widow standing at her husbands funeral with her children. She is standing. She is in one piece. She is strong. I am positive she doesn't feel it. But the fact she is standing is a testament.
I don't know how to comfort those who have lost.
I don't know what to say to those experiencing the deep oceans of hurt.
I cry into my pillow at night hoping against all hope they are sinking into Jesus. I don't know how, I don't know if thinking is even possible, but I hope and I pray. I hope they can sink into Jesus. To cling to Him.
I hope others will do the work of clinging to Jesus for them. When everything seems impossible.
I have a picture of those who have known pain and been able to reach a shore. I picture them in a beautiful valley of never ending fields of flowers. The ocean is always there, and sometimes they leave the flowers to bath in the ocean again, but it's never as deep or endless as it once was. They can rise out of the water and walk to the field of flowers to lay down.
I pray that peaceful fields of flowers would one day be found in every heart that is hurting. That we can walk up out of the ocean even if it's just to sit in the surf for a while.
I pray for those experiencing deep oceans of pain.
My heart is crying with yours and lifting you up. You feel alone. But I will do the work of believing for you. Of sinking you into Jesus when you can't. Of hoping when it seems to you there is none. Of helping you hold together when you think you are going to explode into a million little pieces.
I will pray for you when you can't.
JESUS! Carry us. Don't let us drown! Hold us up as long as it takes for us to find a shore. As long as it takes for us to even hope that there could be a shore. Hold us. We are weak, but you are strong. I am a vapor, You are everlasting. You never change.
You are greater than my heart and You know everything.
Thank You.
My hope is found in you. When everything else has failed, You are there. You know. You Love. You Are.
I have cried over their pain. But when I think about them, I think how they have to hold this pain for their lifetime. I can leave it. They have to tread this deep ocean and try to breath. And it doesn't stop tomorrow. It doesn't stop next year. It will always be there.
Pain.
Such Deep Pain.
How can anyone hold it?
How can anyone stand up in another day while holding so much?
I think there must be some way to see on the outside what they are feeling on the inside.
How can our insides hold all this pain without it showing up on the outside in a physical experience?
I keep thinking of a tower of Lego's that falls to the ground in a million little pieces.
Melting into a puddle.
An explosion of the physical body.
I picture a widow standing at her husbands funeral with her children. She is standing. She is in one piece. She is strong. I am positive she doesn't feel it. But the fact she is standing is a testament.
I don't know how to comfort those who have lost.
I don't know what to say to those experiencing the deep oceans of hurt.
I cry into my pillow at night hoping against all hope they are sinking into Jesus. I don't know how, I don't know if thinking is even possible, but I hope and I pray. I hope they can sink into Jesus. To cling to Him.
I hope others will do the work of clinging to Jesus for them. When everything seems impossible.
I have a picture of those who have known pain and been able to reach a shore. I picture them in a beautiful valley of never ending fields of flowers. The ocean is always there, and sometimes they leave the flowers to bath in the ocean again, but it's never as deep or endless as it once was. They can rise out of the water and walk to the field of flowers to lay down.
I pray that peaceful fields of flowers would one day be found in every heart that is hurting. That we can walk up out of the ocean even if it's just to sit in the surf for a while.
I pray for those experiencing deep oceans of pain.
My heart is crying with yours and lifting you up. You feel alone. But I will do the work of believing for you. Of sinking you into Jesus when you can't. Of hoping when it seems to you there is none. Of helping you hold together when you think you are going to explode into a million little pieces.
I will pray for you when you can't.
JESUS! Carry us. Don't let us drown! Hold us up as long as it takes for us to find a shore. As long as it takes for us to even hope that there could be a shore. Hold us. We are weak, but you are strong. I am a vapor, You are everlasting. You never change.
You are greater than my heart and You know everything.
Thank You.
My hope is found in you. When everything else has failed, You are there. You know. You Love. You Are.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
who am I trying to fool
So I've been watching this show lately.
I should start over.
I am a sucker for a good romance. Not just any romance, but a GOOD romance. All those romantic comedies just don't cut it for me, and even most of the dramas. But put on Pride and Prejudice and I am all about that.
So back to this show, it's about a small southern town and a girl who moves there from the big city and tries to fit in. I am a sucker for cowboys too... gosh okay! Now you know my secrets.
(my husband is not a cowboy, because we are from Alaska, but I love him anyway. Shhh.)
I don't think I have ever been SO addicted to a show. This one has me completely entranced. I think about it when I am not watching, I can watch like 5 shows in a row and not even think twice about it, and when I am done watching, I will have a southern accent.
Seriously.
How do the writers of these shows KNOW?! They just know how to trap me! The first time I saw the show I noticed it had been given 5 stars so I tried it out and didn't get 10 minutes in before I had to shut it off. It was going to be dorky, I could just tell. But then I kept seeing it. It kept having 5 stars. I had no shows left on my little netflix list and I was tired of surfing gosh darn it! So I tried again.
Bam! still dorky, but I was going to push through. Sometimes shows get better, right? or do I just sink into the level they are at?
Anyway, I do this. I watch a movie and I tell you, I AM that character. I could talk like her, act like her, I want to BE her. It's not purposeful and eventually (in approximately 5 minutes) it wears off. But seriously, how does that happen?!
I know one thing. It makes me feel discontent with my life. With what I have and who I am. I know it and still I watch. Still I feel connected to the characters. Still it enters in through my eyes and ears and into my brain and exudes out of me in my words and actions. I LET it.
Holy cow. My discontent with myself is so easy to rise out of me. I feel like I should KNOW better! I do. I want my life, where I am RIGHT NOW, to be my most peaceful place.
I have to FIGHT! Fight for the right! to be content. To be me in my truest most loving form.
I am reminded to do what God says in his word "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6
So, be thankful. Pray. Lean into God. Listen to His small voice.
Should I quite watching shows that are romantic? Psssh! ha! God hasn't taken me down THAT road yet! I don't like smut, but I like a good story. So does Jesus I suppose. Since after all, He is our romance. I think though, that I need to watch these shows with the foundation of Christ in my mind, body, and spirit. If I know Him, I know ours is the most romantic story around. There is nothing better than what I have and who he has made me to be.
Yes Jesus. I love you. Thank you.
And of course, maybe I should limit my show watching to just, ah, er, one (or two) at a time... we'll see.
okay fine. three.
I should start over.
I am a sucker for a good romance. Not just any romance, but a GOOD romance. All those romantic comedies just don't cut it for me, and even most of the dramas. But put on Pride and Prejudice and I am all about that.
So back to this show, it's about a small southern town and a girl who moves there from the big city and tries to fit in. I am a sucker for cowboys too... gosh okay! Now you know my secrets.
(my husband is not a cowboy, because we are from Alaska, but I love him anyway. Shhh.)
I don't think I have ever been SO addicted to a show. This one has me completely entranced. I think about it when I am not watching, I can watch like 5 shows in a row and not even think twice about it, and when I am done watching, I will have a southern accent.
Seriously.
How do the writers of these shows KNOW?! They just know how to trap me! The first time I saw the show I noticed it had been given 5 stars so I tried it out and didn't get 10 minutes in before I had to shut it off. It was going to be dorky, I could just tell. But then I kept seeing it. It kept having 5 stars. I had no shows left on my little netflix list and I was tired of surfing gosh darn it! So I tried again.
Bam! still dorky, but I was going to push through. Sometimes shows get better, right? or do I just sink into the level they are at?
Anyway, I do this. I watch a movie and I tell you, I AM that character. I could talk like her, act like her, I want to BE her. It's not purposeful and eventually (in approximately 5 minutes) it wears off. But seriously, how does that happen?!
I know one thing. It makes me feel discontent with my life. With what I have and who I am. I know it and still I watch. Still I feel connected to the characters. Still it enters in through my eyes and ears and into my brain and exudes out of me in my words and actions. I LET it.
Holy cow. My discontent with myself is so easy to rise out of me. I feel like I should KNOW better! I do. I want my life, where I am RIGHT NOW, to be my most peaceful place.
I have to FIGHT! Fight for the right! to be content. To be me in my truest most loving form.
I am reminded to do what God says in his word "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6
So, be thankful. Pray. Lean into God. Listen to His small voice.
Should I quite watching shows that are romantic? Psssh! ha! God hasn't taken me down THAT road yet! I don't like smut, but I like a good story. So does Jesus I suppose. Since after all, He is our romance. I think though, that I need to watch these shows with the foundation of Christ in my mind, body, and spirit. If I know Him, I know ours is the most romantic story around. There is nothing better than what I have and who he has made me to be.
Yes Jesus. I love you. Thank you.
And of course, maybe I should limit my show watching to just, ah, er, one (or two) at a time... we'll see.
okay fine. three.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
opinions
I think I care too much about what people think. I have always told myself that I don't, but this past week some things have come out about the pressure I feel from people who are close to me. I let this pressure dictate how I interact with them and thus, our relationship is formed by it. My husband says it puts me in the position of always being everyone's servant. That the good of the relationship is up to how I please them. I have to say, that is how I feel most of the time. I have a few good friends who are still interested in me for being me after all the years I have said and done stupid things. All the times I have not been a good friend to them, they still are there. My family will always be there. They are very supportive of me. But even with close friends and family I always know will be there for me, I feel this pressure to do what is right in THEIR eyes. To be something that looks good to THEM. I always thought I knew who I was and what I wanted, but it turns out, I think I am hiding a lot of it. I think. I am not sure. I am 32 years old. I should know who I am. I know I do more now than when I was in my teens and twenties. But regardless, I need to get rid of this PRESSURE I have built up in my mind that I need to please the people around me and make myself into something that looks good to them. I just need to be me in all of my mess ups and changes and whatever else, without thinking that I won't matter to someone else if I do. Can't I just be thankful for the person God made me to be? Can't I be kind and forgiving and still be myself? Can't I love with the heart of Christ and still be me? Yes. I don't know how, but I think so. That is why He created me right? To be that one piece of the puzzle that no other piece can fill. Ok. So, I want to let people know what I think sometimes without being afraid of hurting their feelings. I want to have a valid opinion in my life and feel like it's worth something even if it doesn't match what other people think. Now that I have a place to write stuff, I think I will put out my opinions a little more. I will show myself. There is good stuff. I am always learning how to be better, how to love more, how to be a child of Christ more. And then, there is the ugly stuff. Stuff that needs to be refined and cast out. I am willing to be pruned so that more fruit will grow. Time to stop letting my fruit fall to the ground. Time to believe in myself a little more. Time to dive into God's Word more and BELIEVE what He says! To renew my mind.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
:(
I lost my camera.
I am consumed by this. Where on earth could it be?
We had a "dance party" this afternoon in the living room with my 2 year old and 11 month old and have no pictures to show for it... how sad. You know the country song by Lady Antebellum that goes "Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are" has been stuck in my head as I look under my bed, in all the various bags I own, in all the pockets of all the coats, and in the car...
Dang. This is a sad, sad day. I have been accused many times in my life for being a bad finder. But not even my husband or little boy know where it is. I can usually depend on them to find anything I have lost.
waaaaaaaaaaa!
I was going to show you the picture of my newest crochet ambitions but, I can't. As the title of this blog would have you believe, it should have something to do with yarn. Well, I promise, I do crochet and I do knit. You will just have to wait for another day to see my products though...
I am sure you are just holding your breath in severe anticipation.
I am consumed by this. Where on earth could it be?
We had a "dance party" this afternoon in the living room with my 2 year old and 11 month old and have no pictures to show for it... how sad. You know the country song by Lady Antebellum that goes "Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are" has been stuck in my head as I look under my bed, in all the various bags I own, in all the pockets of all the coats, and in the car...
Dang. This is a sad, sad day. I have been accused many times in my life for being a bad finder. But not even my husband or little boy know where it is. I can usually depend on them to find anything I have lost.
waaaaaaaaaaa!
I was going to show you the picture of my newest crochet ambitions but, I can't. As the title of this blog would have you believe, it should have something to do with yarn. Well, I promise, I do crochet and I do knit. You will just have to wait for another day to see my products though...
I am sure you are just holding your breath in severe anticipation.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Living in Alaska
I wonder if it's what everyone suspects that it is.
I have, in my short years on this earth, found that there are plenty of people who either think of Alaska as a whole other country, which is primitive and wild at best and are scared of the very idea of being in a place so frozen in time. Or, people idolize it because they think of it as primitive and wild and want to experience that in full force, being able to do whatever their primitive minds can think of doing in a country unruled by human effects and fashion.
Despite these notions, I know I can confirm a few things right off the bat.
We don't live in igloos.
We do have dog sled teams, but (usually) not as our main source of transportation. It is a source of fun and sport and for a very few, their livelihood.
Many Alaskans still use the "honey bucket" and or outhouse and, generally speaking, these methods are as common as using indoor plumbing. But, I think most prefer running water... I think.
It is light all summer and dark all winter. Granted, there is a little transition time during the spring and early winter where it is a little more "normal".
We do have cities in Alaska. Although, someone from New York or Los Angeles might question the validity of that statement, it's true!
We have many, many villages in Alaska. Some have a population of 20 while others might have as many as 4,000. My parents live in one with a population of 80ish.
We have grand mountains and vast tundras, huge trees, dessert land and bogs and islands and ocean and you name it, we probably have it in some form or another. Mind you, it was probably frozen or still is and will be for the next thousand years, but by george, it's there.
We struggle with what can be grown here but most everything has been tried. Grapes have flourished in a greenhouse heated by a hot springs.
The northern lights are common in the winter and always magnificent! You just have to get away from the town lights to see them.
Moose abound and will eat your garden if you don't put a HIGH fence around it. Sometimes, that won't even keep them out.
Depending on where you live, bears also abound. Here in the interior, they are not as common as in the southern areas, but boy, they are awesome and deadly.
Some things that I know about my life here:
I am usually cold. But a few days of the year, I get to wear shorts and tanks and my life is once again complete.
There is absolutely NOTHING like a summer in Fairbanks Alaska. No matter where you are from, if you live anywhere south of my town, you have no idea what you mean when you say you are happy for spring to have arrived.
Growing things gives life to my soul, and it's not because I am good at it, it is because I need to see something green, something growing, something that smells like dirt and life during my 9-10 months indoors.
There is no other way for me to survive the winters than by getting out in them.
Summer brings this crazy spirit out of everyone and suddenly all the things that were "planned" for summer get thrown out the window and we are just moving and going and doing ALL the time because there is so much to do and see and build and experience.
Every year is a surprise.
You never get "used" to anything. Not the dark, not the light, not the cold or the snow in June. Not the mosquitoes, not the 40 below temps, or the way the northern lights look when you are skiing in the woods all by yourself and it's dark but the clock says 4:30 pm.
This Alaskan life is ever changing, always keeping us on our toes, guessing and reaching for that unreasonable hope we all get every spring to keep planting, to keep living, to keep loving this place that is supposed to be predictable but continues to surprise me every. single. year.
Why do I live here?
Because I would miss it if I didn't.
Because the people that you find here are a unique bunch anyone would equally love and call crazy.
Because I get to call myself Alaskan. And for as much as anyone might not want to admit it, there is a pretty cool note of pride and respect that goes with that name, and I need all the respect I can get.
I have, in my short years on this earth, found that there are plenty of people who either think of Alaska as a whole other country, which is primitive and wild at best and are scared of the very idea of being in a place so frozen in time. Or, people idolize it because they think of it as primitive and wild and want to experience that in full force, being able to do whatever their primitive minds can think of doing in a country unruled by human effects and fashion.
Despite these notions, I know I can confirm a few things right off the bat.
We don't live in igloos.
We do have dog sled teams, but (usually) not as our main source of transportation. It is a source of fun and sport and for a very few, their livelihood.
Many Alaskans still use the "honey bucket" and or outhouse and, generally speaking, these methods are as common as using indoor plumbing. But, I think most prefer running water... I think.
It is light all summer and dark all winter. Granted, there is a little transition time during the spring and early winter where it is a little more "normal".
We do have cities in Alaska. Although, someone from New York or Los Angeles might question the validity of that statement, it's true!
We have many, many villages in Alaska. Some have a population of 20 while others might have as many as 4,000. My parents live in one with a population of 80ish.
We have grand mountains and vast tundras, huge trees, dessert land and bogs and islands and ocean and you name it, we probably have it in some form or another. Mind you, it was probably frozen or still is and will be for the next thousand years, but by george, it's there.
We struggle with what can be grown here but most everything has been tried. Grapes have flourished in a greenhouse heated by a hot springs.
The northern lights are common in the winter and always magnificent! You just have to get away from the town lights to see them.
Moose abound and will eat your garden if you don't put a HIGH fence around it. Sometimes, that won't even keep them out.
Depending on where you live, bears also abound. Here in the interior, they are not as common as in the southern areas, but boy, they are awesome and deadly.
Some things that I know about my life here:
I am usually cold. But a few days of the year, I get to wear shorts and tanks and my life is once again complete.
There is absolutely NOTHING like a summer in Fairbanks Alaska. No matter where you are from, if you live anywhere south of my town, you have no idea what you mean when you say you are happy for spring to have arrived.
Growing things gives life to my soul, and it's not because I am good at it, it is because I need to see something green, something growing, something that smells like dirt and life during my 9-10 months indoors.
There is no other way for me to survive the winters than by getting out in them.
Summer brings this crazy spirit out of everyone and suddenly all the things that were "planned" for summer get thrown out the window and we are just moving and going and doing ALL the time because there is so much to do and see and build and experience.
You never get "used" to anything. Not the dark, not the light, not the cold or the snow in June. Not the mosquitoes, not the 40 below temps, or the way the northern lights look when you are skiing in the woods all by yourself and it's dark but the clock says 4:30 pm.
This Alaskan life is ever changing, always keeping us on our toes, guessing and reaching for that unreasonable hope we all get every spring to keep planting, to keep living, to keep loving this place that is supposed to be predictable but continues to surprise me every. single. year.
Why do I live here?
Because I would miss it if I didn't.
Because the people that you find here are a unique bunch anyone would equally love and call crazy.
Because I get to call myself Alaskan. And for as much as anyone might not want to admit it, there is a pretty cool note of pride and respect that goes with that name, and I need all the respect I can get.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
2 years old
My little man is very anxious for some things in life. I think he captures most of them in this brief statement:
"Momma, I need a story. I need a stor, I need soup. Momma, I need sou, I need chili!. Momma, I'm hungry!! Let's go outside."
The past few days have been cold and yesterday it hailed. Summer does not want to show itself. Regardless of the weather though, Noah still wants to play outside. I can hardly blame him, but yesterday while it was hailing I told him it would be better to stay inside because, "It's just too wet and cold, baby!"
But he insisted and I was in no mood for a fight. I let him go. Not a minute later he was standing outside the door crying. I went to see him and I asked him why he was having such issues and he informed me, as though I would not ever have known otherwise, that, "It's just too wet and cold, baby!"
Oh how a mother must always hold her tongue! An "I told you so!" would do nothing to affect the situation... So I had to thoughtfully say once more, "okay, come inside." Peel off his coat and boots and have a little more snuggle time on the couch with my sweet two year old boy.
He makes up for any indiscretion though, when before climbing up on the couch he says, "Do you know what Momma? I love you." and leans his little head onto my shoulder.
Can I melt now?
"Momma, I need a story. I need a stor, I need soup. Momma, I need sou, I need chili!. Momma, I'm hungry!! Let's go outside."
The past few days have been cold and yesterday it hailed. Summer does not want to show itself. Regardless of the weather though, Noah still wants to play outside. I can hardly blame him, but yesterday while it was hailing I told him it would be better to stay inside because, "It's just too wet and cold, baby!"
But he insisted and I was in no mood for a fight. I let him go. Not a minute later he was standing outside the door crying. I went to see him and I asked him why he was having such issues and he informed me, as though I would not ever have known otherwise, that, "It's just too wet and cold, baby!"
Oh how a mother must always hold her tongue! An "I told you so!" would do nothing to affect the situation... So I had to thoughtfully say once more, "okay, come inside." Peel off his coat and boots and have a little more snuggle time on the couch with my sweet two year old boy.
He makes up for any indiscretion though, when before climbing up on the couch he says, "Do you know what Momma? I love you." and leans his little head onto my shoulder.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Potty, Potty, Potty
What does it take to get a two year old on the potty? I don't know about you, but in this house it takes a whole slew of bribes and praises. How about milkshakes, movies, candy of all kinds, cars, and play dates with his best friend? Okay, so that might convince him to sit on the potty, but what about actually using it?! I am still working on that one. It's a good thing it is warm outside or we would all be crazy. Most of his accidents have happened outside until today.
I had lots of things planned out for today. Most of them being to attend to the house that was ignored all weekend due to all events surrounding the potty. There is lots of laundry to catch up on, dishes to wash, bathrooms to clean, the floors however are more sparkling clean than ever before. All such motivations, however, disapeared to the tune of the late day bells of 11am. Isn't the day over yet?? I mean, it could be 11PM right? Please? How many poops and puddles of pee have I cleaned up today? 20... no, it must be more than that.
My hands are not my own. They are purple gloves swishing swishing swishing over the floor. One more time. Now they are a pile of blankets stained with poop smears and soaked with pee.
Wait, I smell something.
WHERE IS THE POOP?! What? oh. the baby at least goes in her diaper where it belongs...
Shoot. Going back to diapers sounds easier for all of us.
But lo, I shall persevere.
Dadgumit.
(I don't think you want to see any pictures from today. gross.)
I had lots of things planned out for today. Most of them being to attend to the house that was ignored all weekend due to all events surrounding the potty. There is lots of laundry to catch up on, dishes to wash, bathrooms to clean, the floors however are more sparkling clean than ever before. All such motivations, however, disapeared to the tune of the late day bells of 11am. Isn't the day over yet?? I mean, it could be 11PM right? Please? How many poops and puddles of pee have I cleaned up today? 20... no, it must be more than that.
My hands are not my own. They are purple gloves swishing swishing swishing over the floor. One more time. Now they are a pile of blankets stained with poop smears and soaked with pee.
Wait, I smell something.
WHERE IS THE POOP?! What? oh. the baby at least goes in her diaper where it belongs...
Shoot. Going back to diapers sounds easier for all of us.
But lo, I shall persevere.
Dadgumit.
(I don't think you want to see any pictures from today. gross.)
Friday, April 6, 2012
Spring...ish
All my little guy wanted to do was run up and down our slightly sloped driveway... Whatever keeps 'em busy I guess.
 |
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| There he goes again! |
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| Sister just wanted to watch. I tried putting her in the snow to crawl around, but she would have nothing to do with such unrefined activities. |
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| She thinks her brother is the cats pajamas. |
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| And he makes us both laugh on a regular occasion. |
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| Snow is melting and we are getting WAY more sunlight. Love it. |
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| And this is the one who likes to eat sticks. |
Friday, March 30, 2012
All my good ideas. Out the window.
I don't know what it is, but these past few weeks have just felt BUSY. I am not normally the type of person to enjoy business, but it seems to have found me anyway. Besides driving around all the time, when I am home, there are, like, a MILLION other things for me to do. And really, there are just as many other things I would RATHER be doing besides the ones I should do.
So here I am. In front of my computer. Totally devoid of motivation for any of it.
During my day while I am trying to fit in exercise, or knitting the next project, or wiping another smear of poop of another child's behind, I think of all these awesome ideas for what to write next on this blog site. And then... I turn, and I see my two year old with one hand down is poopy butt pants and the other hand holding my knitting project, and I quit. My mind has been erased of any magical notions for beautiful stories.
So here I am. In front of my computer. Totally devoid of motivation for any of it.
During my day while I am trying to fit in exercise, or knitting the next project, or wiping another smear of poop of another child's behind, I think of all these awesome ideas for what to write next on this blog site. And then... I turn, and I see my two year old with one hand down is poopy butt pants and the other hand holding my knitting project, and I quit. My mind has been erased of any magical notions for beautiful stories.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I'm feel'n a wee bit of guilt...
But not too much I guess because I keep listening to the same music anyway.
Last night we were driving home from our oh so holy Bible study. Not. I mean, we love the Lord and all, but I don't know if you could call this study reverent... The children are running and screaming, there is people eating at all moments, we interrupt the study to eat more, and probably sing a Happy Birthday tune or two, and we really just love to be together more than anything.
Back to the drive home though. My little boy is 2 and a half years old. He sings ALL THE TIME. He remembers words to music where half the time I don't even know what they are saying. He does jumble things and make them really cute with his sweet little voice, but still, he is better than me by a long shot.
We were listening to the radio on our way home. I had on our local christian station and he says from the back seat, "I don't want this music!" So I changed it to the country station. Usually he'll go for that, but not this night. This time I asked him what he would like to hear and he replied "Furry Bit!" I was highly confused! Furry Bit?? I have never heard of such a thing and I really was appalled at what that song might just be about. Furry kid music.... or something else.
I was racking my brain and finally it struck me. It wasn't furry bit, it's Dirty Bit. From the Black Eye Peas song "The Time". He loves that song! He loves and laughs each time he hears the words dirty bit in the music! It was so funny! I was a little mortified that my little 2 year old boy loved the "furry bit" music because it was what I loved to listen too!
So we listened. And it was once more good. We rocked out on the road home and "had the best time of our lives" or something like that. My son is more than adorable. I love him, and I really need to listen to more wholesome music, because do you know what the next song he picked out was?
I, I Love you like a love song baby! And I keep hitting repe p p p p peat!
Look at how innocent and darling he looks. He will fool you. I willingly fall for it everyday.
Last night we were driving home from our oh so holy Bible study. Not. I mean, we love the Lord and all, but I don't know if you could call this study reverent... The children are running and screaming, there is people eating at all moments, we interrupt the study to eat more, and probably sing a Happy Birthday tune or two, and we really just love to be together more than anything.
Back to the drive home though. My little boy is 2 and a half years old. He sings ALL THE TIME. He remembers words to music where half the time I don't even know what they are saying. He does jumble things and make them really cute with his sweet little voice, but still, he is better than me by a long shot.
We were listening to the radio on our way home. I had on our local christian station and he says from the back seat, "I don't want this music!" So I changed it to the country station. Usually he'll go for that, but not this night. This time I asked him what he would like to hear and he replied "Furry Bit!" I was highly confused! Furry Bit?? I have never heard of such a thing and I really was appalled at what that song might just be about. Furry kid music.... or something else.
I was racking my brain and finally it struck me. It wasn't furry bit, it's Dirty Bit. From the Black Eye Peas song "The Time". He loves that song! He loves and laughs each time he hears the words dirty bit in the music! It was so funny! I was a little mortified that my little 2 year old boy loved the "furry bit" music because it was what I loved to listen too!
So we listened. And it was once more good. We rocked out on the road home and "had the best time of our lives" or something like that. My son is more than adorable. I love him, and I really need to listen to more wholesome music, because do you know what the next song he picked out was?
I, I Love you like a love song baby! And I keep hitting repe p p p p peat!
Look at how innocent and darling he looks. He will fool you. I willingly fall for it everyday.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I started cloth diapers...
I didn't think I would be so nervous about such a seemingly small deal. I had my first day of using cloth diapers yesterday and every time I had to change one I got really anxious! You would have thought I was waiting for something to blow up. I know I was waiting for something to go horribly wrong. But, nothing did. In fact, it was great! It was easy and kind of fun. That fun part might not last, but I am hoping it will get easier.
I am still quite uncomfortable trying to fold and stuff and change those funny diapers. I still have some accessories to buy to make the routine smoother, like a wet dry bag and make more cloth wipes and (crossing my fingers) a diaper sprayer. I would love that.
But beyond that, I think this experience will prove to be much better than I think. I loved the feeling of not having used disposables for one whole day! That means our trash can will not fill up as fast nor be as stinky, our budget will get to be rearranged to eliminate that monthly diaper bill, and there will be no more "oops, we ran out of diapers" moments. That will be good :)
The washing is what makes me the most nervous. There are so many different ways to do it and I don't want to mess up all those diapers by doing something wrong. Mostly, I don't want the fuss of trying to fix it. I know I will probably have to face the dreaded ammonia diaper at some point, but I hope not anytime soon. I want to get the basics down before I have to puzzle out a problem.
One day, maybe I will be able to put advice on here about how to do it all, but until then, I am looking for any advice I can get on the subject! Living in Alaska has it's challenges, like line drying in the sun, and well, getting any sun at all. But we do have a lot of Mommas around who love to cloth diaper.
I am still quite uncomfortable trying to fold and stuff and change those funny diapers. I still have some accessories to buy to make the routine smoother, like a wet dry bag and make more cloth wipes and (crossing my fingers) a diaper sprayer. I would love that.
But beyond that, I think this experience will prove to be much better than I think. I loved the feeling of not having used disposables for one whole day! That means our trash can will not fill up as fast nor be as stinky, our budget will get to be rearranged to eliminate that monthly diaper bill, and there will be no more "oops, we ran out of diapers" moments. That will be good :)
The washing is what makes me the most nervous. There are so many different ways to do it and I don't want to mess up all those diapers by doing something wrong. Mostly, I don't want the fuss of trying to fix it. I know I will probably have to face the dreaded ammonia diaper at some point, but I hope not anytime soon. I want to get the basics down before I have to puzzle out a problem.
One day, maybe I will be able to put advice on here about how to do it all, but until then, I am looking for any advice I can get on the subject! Living in Alaska has it's challenges, like line drying in the sun, and well, getting any sun at all. But we do have a lot of Mommas around who love to cloth diaper.
Monday, February 27, 2012
oh jiminy...
crickets.
That's what you hear around this blog space. I have not been writing for a couple of weeks and the time has just flown by me!
Let see, what have I been doing?
Good question...
I know I have been thinking about and researching a TON of new things for our family. I am still working on better ways to be a thrifty, yet healthy shopper and chef. I have been working on learning how to cook more wholesome meals, trying to use more vegetables, legumes and less meat. It is hardest on my husband I think. He is not used to the lack of usual snack food around the house, a lot less bread, and many more beans. He'll get into the routine soon and I'll get better at knowing what he likes. I hope.
I have also been working at getting most all the cleaning chemicals out of the house. It is hard for me to just throw these things out. I am by nature a (wanna be) thrifty person, and throwing out perfectly good cleaning supplies is hard for me to do. But then, I think about how if my now crawling nine month old baby got into any of it, or if my two year old boy who climbs on everything and can open anything were to find these things, it would be a terrible day. I already won't let them into the room where I spray fabreeze on the carpet until it is dry. I guess that is a hint I need to change something. So, I have started cleaning with vinegar, baking soda, hot water, sometimes some essential oil and a reusable cloth. I have found, I actually like cleaning with just those simple products....
Talk about cheap. Talk about easy. Talk about healthy.
My third and most recent project has been researching the world of cloth diapering.
Do I sound like a greenie or what?!
I swear, I have been doing all this because our budget dictates it. But the more I look into all these budget friendly ways of living, I find that mostly they are much more healthy options as well! I love that. I love feeling like I know what is happening to my family, what is going into their mouths, what is being put on their skin, and what is being used to clean them. I worry less, I feel better, I stress less and hopefully, my family feels it too.
Anyway, back to cloth diapers. Holy COW. There are more options for cloth diapers than for disposable ones and let me tell you, I know there are a lot of disposable diaper options. I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to figure out. What I wanna know is, because this cloth diapering thing is such a big, upfront investment, how do I know what diapers are going to "work" for my child? I don't want to just buy ones that look good, or that I think will work. I want them to work dagnabit, if I am going to pay $200 or more for enough diapers and their accessories to get us through this.
I am convinced that this is something I want to pursue, I just have no idea where to start and how to make this a project I don't have to save for the next year to start on. Blah.
Other than those aforementioned projects, I have been wrangling children, loving my husband, trying to push deeper into my relationship with God, and visiting my sweet sweet friends.
I love this life.
That's what you hear around this blog space. I have not been writing for a couple of weeks and the time has just flown by me!
Let see, what have I been doing?
Good question...
I know I have been thinking about and researching a TON of new things for our family. I am still working on better ways to be a thrifty, yet healthy shopper and chef. I have been working on learning how to cook more wholesome meals, trying to use more vegetables, legumes and less meat. It is hardest on my husband I think. He is not used to the lack of usual snack food around the house, a lot less bread, and many more beans. He'll get into the routine soon and I'll get better at knowing what he likes. I hope.
I have also been working at getting most all the cleaning chemicals out of the house. It is hard for me to just throw these things out. I am by nature a (wanna be) thrifty person, and throwing out perfectly good cleaning supplies is hard for me to do. But then, I think about how if my now crawling nine month old baby got into any of it, or if my two year old boy who climbs on everything and can open anything were to find these things, it would be a terrible day. I already won't let them into the room where I spray fabreeze on the carpet until it is dry. I guess that is a hint I need to change something. So, I have started cleaning with vinegar, baking soda, hot water, sometimes some essential oil and a reusable cloth. I have found, I actually like cleaning with just those simple products....
Talk about cheap. Talk about easy. Talk about healthy.
My third and most recent project has been researching the world of cloth diapering.
Do I sound like a greenie or what?!
I swear, I have been doing all this because our budget dictates it. But the more I look into all these budget friendly ways of living, I find that mostly they are much more healthy options as well! I love that. I love feeling like I know what is happening to my family, what is going into their mouths, what is being put on their skin, and what is being used to clean them. I worry less, I feel better, I stress less and hopefully, my family feels it too.
Anyway, back to cloth diapers. Holy COW. There are more options for cloth diapers than for disposable ones and let me tell you, I know there are a lot of disposable diaper options. I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to figure out. What I wanna know is, because this cloth diapering thing is such a big, upfront investment, how do I know what diapers are going to "work" for my child? I don't want to just buy ones that look good, or that I think will work. I want them to work dagnabit, if I am going to pay $200 or more for enough diapers and their accessories to get us through this.
I am convinced that this is something I want to pursue, I just have no idea where to start and how to make this a project I don't have to save for the next year to start on. Blah.
Other than those aforementioned projects, I have been wrangling children, loving my husband, trying to push deeper into my relationship with God, and visiting my sweet sweet friends.
I love this life.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
frugalnomics
I don't know when this band wagon took off, but I am pretty certain I missed it completely. I am talking about the frugal, natural, housewife band wagon.
It kinda sucks to feel like I have been so far off the mark for so long. I mean, am I just now starting to think about health? nutrition? budgets?
No.
But it has only been this past few months that it has been intensely occupying my thoughts as to how I can do better. So I began researching and finding TONS of stuff (mostly blogs) on these subjects! I am overwhelmed and boggled by all the information and feel the urgent need to begin a healthier lifestyle, but have no idea where to start.
What gets me the most though, is that I feel like I grew up in a moderately healthy home. I have always had good health and so have all my siblings. We are not overweight and have always known the importance of exercise. It is now that I have my own family though, that I realize how much I do not know about how to serve them in a way that not only fills their love tanks but fills their bodies with health and wellness. I left home barely knowing how to cook. I can't blame that on anyone but myself, but still, I am disappointed.
I have always looked at my parents with awe. How they held everything together in even the toughest times. My mom was and still is superwoman! How did I leave her care without knowing how to do any of the things she did? She raised and homeschooled four kids, fed us well on minimal money and most importantly brought us all up to know the Lord (while keeping her sanity and relationship with her husband intact). If there is anyone in this world I want to be like, it is her.
So far however, I am, as I said earlier, way off the mark. Both my sisters know how to be green and shop for the good deals and can cook amazingly well. I guess I just wasn't paying close enough attention. But now, I am.
I want to be healthy. Not just look it on the outside, but really to be healthy all the way through. I want it for my husband who is tired and works long hours with not a whole lot of good food options. I want it for my son and daughter so they can have long and healthy lives with the energy they need to do whatever it is they want to do. And I want to share it. I want my kids to know how choose it for themselves.
I am going to be starting this journey slow. I can't go ditch all the groceries I just bought yesterday to spend another hundred on "more healthy" food. I must believe God holds me in every circumstance. He knows I have lots of work to do and I am certain he will be keeping us through this time of change even though we won't be eating natural, organic, meat free food all the time. I figured out how to cook, and I am learning how to shop and coupon, so now I am going to learn to be GREEN!
Feeling better already.
It kinda sucks to feel like I have been so far off the mark for so long. I mean, am I just now starting to think about health? nutrition? budgets?
No.
But it has only been this past few months that it has been intensely occupying my thoughts as to how I can do better. So I began researching and finding TONS of stuff (mostly blogs) on these subjects! I am overwhelmed and boggled by all the information and feel the urgent need to begin a healthier lifestyle, but have no idea where to start.
What gets me the most though, is that I feel like I grew up in a moderately healthy home. I have always had good health and so have all my siblings. We are not overweight and have always known the importance of exercise. It is now that I have my own family though, that I realize how much I do not know about how to serve them in a way that not only fills their love tanks but fills their bodies with health and wellness. I left home barely knowing how to cook. I can't blame that on anyone but myself, but still, I am disappointed.
I have always looked at my parents with awe. How they held everything together in even the toughest times. My mom was and still is superwoman! How did I leave her care without knowing how to do any of the things she did? She raised and homeschooled four kids, fed us well on minimal money and most importantly brought us all up to know the Lord (while keeping her sanity and relationship with her husband intact). If there is anyone in this world I want to be like, it is her.
So far however, I am, as I said earlier, way off the mark. Both my sisters know how to be green and shop for the good deals and can cook amazingly well. I guess I just wasn't paying close enough attention. But now, I am.
I want to be healthy. Not just look it on the outside, but really to be healthy all the way through. I want it for my husband who is tired and works long hours with not a whole lot of good food options. I want it for my son and daughter so they can have long and healthy lives with the energy they need to do whatever it is they want to do. And I want to share it. I want my kids to know how choose it for themselves.
I am going to be starting this journey slow. I can't go ditch all the groceries I just bought yesterday to spend another hundred on "more healthy" food. I must believe God holds me in every circumstance. He knows I have lots of work to do and I am certain he will be keeping us through this time of change even though we won't be eating natural, organic, meat free food all the time. I figured out how to cook, and I am learning how to shop and coupon, so now I am going to learn to be GREEN!
Feeling better already.
 |
| Meine Familie |
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Running to the rythm of Love...
Happy belated valentines day! I had a really nice day yesterday. My husband is one of the most thoughtful gift givers I know and he always knows what to do for me even when we have no money to use for the occasion.
He burned me two really fun CD's and they are great for running or rocking out to in the car. It is all love music of course. He also made the most delicious chocolate mousse for dessert. Sigh. This man knows how to treat me right.
I, on the other hand, am not a very thoughtful gift giver. I made beans for dinner (really yummy though) and didn't make him anything special! I had thought we made an agreement that we wouldn't do anything special for valentines day this year. We don't really have any expendable money and I didn't want to spend what little we do have on silly hearts and candy. But my dear husband worked something out anyway and I was happily surprised and felt very loved.
Next year I'll have to get more creative... I guess I can only get better seeing as how I didn't do anything this year.
That's right, you better watch out for me. Valentines 2013, here I come!
(any ideas??)
This is what I found when I opened the fridge to make breakfast.
Which lead me here. It was a sweet-awesome mix. We listened all morning and we all danced crazy like.
And this is the chocolate mousse my honey made so deliciously for our valentines evening.
He burned me two really fun CD's and they are great for running or rocking out to in the car. It is all love music of course. He also made the most delicious chocolate mousse for dessert. Sigh. This man knows how to treat me right.
I, on the other hand, am not a very thoughtful gift giver. I made beans for dinner (really yummy though) and didn't make him anything special! I had thought we made an agreement that we wouldn't do anything special for valentines day this year. We don't really have any expendable money and I didn't want to spend what little we do have on silly hearts and candy. But my dear husband worked something out anyway and I was happily surprised and felt very loved.
Next year I'll have to get more creative... I guess I can only get better seeing as how I didn't do anything this year.
That's right, you better watch out for me. Valentines 2013, here I come!
(any ideas??)
This is what I found when I opened the fridge to make breakfast.
Which lead me here. It was a sweet-awesome mix. We listened all morning and we all danced crazy like.
And this is the chocolate mousse my honey made so deliciously for our valentines evening.
Monday, February 13, 2012
A picture of Love
I have thought of probably 10 different subjects to write about over the weekend, but only one comes to mind.
I watched a documentary done by National Geographic called Life in a Day. It. Was. Awesome.
If you ever want to feel like you are only a wisp of a life on the planet, that what you are is a mere speck compared to everything happening to everyone else on the earth, that God is huge and is longing for us to be with him, that we are his bride and we are a wreck but he still holds us in his arms... watch that documentary.
I cried, I laughed and was amazed. It was all people. Crazy, normal people.
On another note, my family and I had a really nice time out at Harding Lake with the Young Life crew! I hung out with the girls and we all painted our nails, played games, went on a nice warm walk and generally enjoyed eachother's company. It is always sweet to have other people to play with.
It is good to be home, however. I came back with tremendously soar hips from an awful bed. Shoot. My own bed is so much nicer to me, and for that, I will love it and only say nice things about it from now on.
Here is what my baby girl enjoyed doing at the lodge: staring at the ceiling...
Here is what my bubba enjoyed: tea and a movie. A child after my own heart.
TTFN!
I watched a documentary done by National Geographic called Life in a Day. It. Was. Awesome.
If you ever want to feel like you are only a wisp of a life on the planet, that what you are is a mere speck compared to everything happening to everyone else on the earth, that God is huge and is longing for us to be with him, that we are his bride and we are a wreck but he still holds us in his arms... watch that documentary.
I cried, I laughed and was amazed. It was all people. Crazy, normal people.
On another note, my family and I had a really nice time out at Harding Lake with the Young Life crew! I hung out with the girls and we all painted our nails, played games, went on a nice warm walk and generally enjoyed eachother's company. It is always sweet to have other people to play with.
It is good to be home, however. I came back with tremendously soar hips from an awful bed. Shoot. My own bed is so much nicer to me, and for that, I will love it and only say nice things about it from now on.
Here is what my baby girl enjoyed doing at the lodge: staring at the ceiling...
Here is what my bubba enjoyed: tea and a movie. A child after my own heart.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Cabin Fever!
This weekend we get to go out to our cabin! It is always fun to go out. Not too much of a drive and a nice break from the normal routine. It is on a lake and can be really pretty this time of year, especially since it has been so warm.
These days though it is a bit of a chore to get going. When once upon a time it was just my husband and I who went out, we could decide the same day and jump in the car to go! It was so easy! Now we have to plan weeks in advance. Taking plenty of food, diapers, extra clothes, winter gear, gas for the snow machines or jet ski in the summer. It is only an hour drive away too! In the summer we go so often we have most of the extras stashed in the car already or we get extras to leave out there. But winter is a much harder time to go, mostly because of schedules, icy roads, and cold temps. This weekend however, we are going to force our way out and I know it will be so good once we are there.
We do not, however, have internet service at this cabin (unless you count dial-up...) and barely cell reception. You have to stand in just the right spot.
So, I will come home exhausted from the trip home and all the laundry to do once we get back, but it will be worth all the chores. It will be sweet time with family and friends.
(It sounds a bit like I am talking myself into it... maybe I am. shoot. I had better get back to work.)
These days though it is a bit of a chore to get going. When once upon a time it was just my husband and I who went out, we could decide the same day and jump in the car to go! It was so easy! Now we have to plan weeks in advance. Taking plenty of food, diapers, extra clothes, winter gear, gas for the snow machines or jet ski in the summer. It is only an hour drive away too! In the summer we go so often we have most of the extras stashed in the car already or we get extras to leave out there. But winter is a much harder time to go, mostly because of schedules, icy roads, and cold temps. This weekend however, we are going to force our way out and I know it will be so good once we are there.
We do not, however, have internet service at this cabin (unless you count dial-up...) and barely cell reception. You have to stand in just the right spot.
So, I will come home exhausted from the trip home and all the laundry to do once we get back, but it will be worth all the chores. It will be sweet time with family and friends.
(It sounds a bit like I am talking myself into it... maybe I am. shoot. I had better get back to work.)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Ahem...
The weathers so warm
I must get a new form
And squish into my new bikini
And that's a wrap.
(please excuse the lack of poetic talent.)
(or what I really mean is, sorry... :)
And this puppy has nothing to do with any of the aforementioned subjects. She is just mighty cute and I got the pleasure of naming her after me :) Sweet silly Rosie toes... (that's not my name, just the rosie part.)
I must get a new form
And squish into my new bikini
And that's a wrap.
(please excuse the lack of poetic talent.)
(or what I really mean is, sorry... :)
And this puppy has nothing to do with any of the aforementioned subjects. She is just mighty cute and I got the pleasure of naming her after me :) Sweet silly Rosie toes... (that's not my name, just the rosie part.)
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